2005-07-24 - 10:10 p.m.
I always loved this place. I dont have any idea why I left for all that other bullcrap. Of course now I have like 6 journals I have to keep up with. Of course Im tempted to just close the others, but the case will more likely be me just keeping them open so I can see everyone else's stuff.
Alright lets get on with the real entry...Im Dani, that much I figure is obvious if you know me. Im not terribly complicated. Im pretty simple. I dont have alot of twist or turns.
I have things in my past. And Im sure more things are yet to come. I have made mistakes, I have done stupid things, Im still doing stupid things. There are things I am doing at this very moment that I am not proud of. But I am me.
Sometimes Im confident and Im ready to face anything and other times I second guess myself and want nothing more than to rewind and start the day over again.
I try to do whats right, but it usually never comes out the way I had planned anyway. variables are a damning thing really they are.
I dont believe in love. I have thought I was in love twice. Not the case in either situation. Not to say I didnt love them, I just wasnt "in love", it was more like I was with my best friend, then my lover.
I dont trust people. Even people I have known for a long time. People are selfish and they are full of double meanings. What a person says can never be taken as the truth or their honest opinion. People do start with good intentions, but they spoil them quickly. Why set yourself up? I have learned over time it is better to step back and just let things happen and do your thing then to try and involve other people and have it all go to hell.
I have friends, and you are prolly wondering how it works if there is no trust. Well I do trust them to a certain extent. I trust them in the matter of their word for the most part, but would I trust any of them with my life? With my deep gut feelings and secrets? Probably not. One person got close, but even they proved themselves to be the same eventually.
Life is a mystery to me. I know its short, and its supposed to be sweet. So far I havent gotten to that sweet bit yet, Im just living for today, and making the most of it.
People dont realize how short our time is here on earth, or how short other people's time is on earth. I want to try everything because I dont want to miss an experience. Some say its risky or dangerous or careless. I say its an adventure.
If you ask me a question, I will more than likely give you an answer, no whether its the answer you want or not is completely depending on my mood.
So there, I think that is a satisfactory first entry.
More later.
